Confessions of a Youth Pastor

“So you want to be a real pastor?”

I don’t think my friend meant for those words to sting the way they did—but they did.

I’d just come on staff at More 2 Life Ministries as the new youth pastor and was telling my friend over dinner, “One day my season in youth ministry will be over. I know it’s only a season—however long He may have it.” Our conversation was about God’s call on my life and how right now the place He has me is youth ministry. From the very beginning, in early 2012, I knew the Lord was calling me to be a pastor—and this season right now that role is as a youth pastor!

The reality is I’ve wrestled with what my friend said for many years—wondering if others think that because I’m a youth pastor I’m not yet a “real” pastor.

I’m not writing this asking for accolades or affirmations, but I want to share my heart as a youth pastor—the struggles that run through my mind as I navigate the call of ministry in my life.

The world tells me: your role as a youth pastor is to hang out and babysit teenagers.

That’s simply NOT true, although I’ve wrestled with that lie on many occasions—usually when I’m feeling worn out or defeated. This is why staying grounded in the Scriptures is so vital for pastors of any age or ministry group.

The role of a youth pastor is to pastor students the same way a senior pastor pastors a congregation.

But like every other pastor, I have struggles and faults. Not just the battle of feeling like I’m not a real pastor because I’m a youth pastor. That’s probably top of my list. Other struggles stem from that—whether directly or indirectly, they are struggles that wage war in my mind many days.

The following confessions may not be true for every youth pastor. I like to think I’m not alone in these—even so, saying them is a breath of fresh air.

1. I don’t have all the answers

No pastor has all the answers.

But—if you are a Christian then you know the One who does. I know that might sound like one of those cheesy Christian lines, but it’s true. As believers, we know the One who has all the answers. We serve the God who created everything, knows everything, and understands everything.

Too often pastors are expected to know the answers to every situation.

Sometimes all we can do is pray and ask the Lord to intervene.

Sometimes all we can do is hug you, pray for you, open the Bible, and sit at the Savior’s feet with you.

I’m the type of person who will tell you upfront if I don’t know the answer to something. I’ve been asked Bible questions that I can’t answer, and that’s okay. It’s a reminder that we are all on a journey of learning and growing in our faith together.

2. I struggle with wanting to read my Bible too

Pastors aren’t super-spiritual Christians who wake up every day before sunrise and spend a few hours reading their Bible and praying. Some do wake up early to read and pray. And some do it daily. I do sometimes as well, but not every day (I wish I could say I do).

It's a misconception that every pastor is an early riser. After all, we're human too. To be completely honest, there are days when I struggle with the desire to read my Bible.

Many pastors hesitate to admit this due to fear of judgment or condemnation. Pastors often face unrealistic expectations, ones that no one can meet. They experience dry seasons, struggle to feel the Lord's presence, and battle days when they feel spiritually drained and unqualified.

Even though I sometimes struggle to read, I hold fast to the truth of Psalm 119:105: “Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.” The times when I find it hardest to read are the times I need it most.

So, I press on, because His Word is a lamp and a light. And I need it—daily.

3. Sometimes it’s hard for me to pray

I wish I could admit prayer was always easy for me. But it’s not. There are moments I wish I could say that prayer always comes easily to me, but it doesn’t. There are times when the heavy responsibilities of pastoring leave me exhausted, making it physically difficult to pray. I often find myself like Peter, James, and John in the Garden of Gethsemane, struggling to stay awake and pray on the eve of Jesus’ crucifixion.

Have you ever felt this way? Spiritually, you want to pray. I know I do, but sometimes my physical weakness makes it hard. In those moments, I remember Jesus’ words to the disciples that night: “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” (CSB).

I am profoundly grateful that Jesus doesn’t leave me in these moments. He is with me, and the Holy Spirit strengthens me always.

When I struggle to pray and my strength fails, it's a reminder of my need to rely on the Lord’s strength continuously.

My flesh may fail, but His Spirit never does.

I believe the account of the Garden of Gethsemane is in the Bible to encourage us. Even Jesus' chosen disciples struggled. They were human, just like us. And if God could use them despite their shortcomings, He can surely use us too!

4. I have moments of faithlessness & doubt

Pastors should always have faith, right?

Well, this youth pastor has moments of doubt. Not in believing in Jesus, but in thinking that God might not help me or come through.

This struggle is tough because I’ve witnessed God perform miracles. He healed my firstborn, Oliver, at birth. He answered our prayers for a second child, bringing our second son into the world.

God heard and answered. He was (and is) faithful in every moment. I wish I could say I am faithful to God every moment, but I fall short.

Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (CSB). That includes every pastor and every person on earth. I am so thankful that Jesus is faithful even when we are faithless!

2 Timothy 2:13 reminds us, "If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself" (CSB).

Faithfulness is part of who God is. Praise God for His unwavering faithfulness!

5. I wrestle with balancing ministry with family life

Pastoring isn’t a glamorous 9 to 5 job as some might think. It's hard work that goes beyond just preaching sermons.

Pastors often work forty, fifty, or even sixty-plus hours a week. Our work isn't confined to Sunday mornings or midweek services. Ministry often extends beyond church office hours, and balancing this with family life can be challenging.

There are times when I must say "no" to ministry tasks to focus on my first ministry—my family.

Everyone's first ministry is their family. This struggle can be particularly tough for pastors who can't always separate church work from home life.

Working from home can be especially challenging. When I feel overwhelmed, I turn to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, which reminds me that there are seasons for everything, and this season will pass. Verse 1 states, "There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven" (CSB). For me, this means recognizing when to prioritize my family, as verse 7 says, "a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak" (CSB).

Despite knowing my family is my first ministry, I often struggle with putting them first. That’s just the truth. If I’m not careful “work/ministry” can consume me.

This is why balance in life and ministry is vital. We need it to thrive in all God has called us to do—including pastoring our families!

6. I want to be liked by everyone

In 2017, I wrote an article for a major Christian website that garnered some nasty comments. I became aware of some of the comments the article had generated not long after it was published. As a friend of mine put it, "they are venomous."

I admit, I want to be liked by everyone.

Initially, I took some of these comments personally. But the Lord quickly reminded me that these are not personal attacks—they reflect the commenters' own heart issues.

Now, I find these comments somewhat humorous, amazed by the audacity of some so-called “Christians” posting such remarks on a Christian website.

Deep down, I want to be liked by everyone. Don’t we all? That’s why those comments initially felt like a knife to the heart. I've learned, though, that there will always be people who don’t like me. And there will always be people who don’t like you too.

At the end of the day, I’m called to love and serve people regardless of who they are and what they think of me.

Ultimately, I want to glorify Jesus, and I pray my life does just that—whether I’m liked by anyone or not!

I share these "confessions" to ask for your prayers—not just for me, but more importantly, for your pastor.

Every pastor faces struggles, especially now as many churches navigate life and ministry in an ever-changing world marked by a growing selfishness and darkness.

We are human. We make mistakes. We have struggles. For me, despite the challenges, I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else but pastoring—whether that’s students, adults, or anyone of any age. I love God, and I love people, no matter how messy, because I know how messy I can be.

We all need Jesus.

So let’s run this race together.

I’ll run my race as a youth pastor for as long as the Lord tells me. Why? Because being at the center of His will is the best place any of us can be—struggles and faults and all.